Life’s So Beautiful

Archive for the ‘Laughter & Humour’ Category

I saw this humorous photo when I was browsing the internet last night.  Please don’t take offense as it is meant as a joke and hopefully it will bring a smile to your face. You lose nothing by smiling but a smile can do wonders sometimes!

Chinese New Year is just two weeks away. This morning we did some spring cleaning in our house before heading downtown for brunch. After brunch, we went shopping at Boulevard Hypermart at Imperial Mall.

There are large crowds at the shopping malls and Chinese New Year music fills the air. You cannot help but be gripped by the Chinese New Year mood.

As my wife was choosing some potatoes for cooking curry during the Chinese New Year, I saw this potato that looked like it had a face…..but this potato definitely wasn’t in a Chinese New Year mood……its mouth was curved downwards as if it was angry or unhappy. I could not resist taking a photo of it…..my son said it looked like a tortoise head or o-kui-tow in Hokkien, haha!

Mr Tortoisehead

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”

“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!

Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons Summary:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

On April 1 1961 (yes, April Fool Day), a Scottish girl was born to a couple who already had nine children. At her birth, her mother was 47 and during the difficult childbirth, the girl was briefly deprived of oxygen and was later diagnosed as having learning difficulties. She was often bullied as a child and was nicknamed “Susie Simple” at school.

After leaving school with few qualifications, she took singing and acting lessons. In 1995 her audition for Michael Barrymore’s “My Kind of People” was filmed. The amateur video shows Barrymore was apparently more interested in mocking her than in her singing ability.

After winning several local singing competitions, she was urged by her mother to enter Britain’s Got Talent. She almost abandoned her plan to enter the show as she believed she was too old and that it was a young person’s game. Her mother’s death motivated her to go on Britain’s Got Talent as a tribute to her mother.

In August 2008 she applied for an audition for the third series of Britain’s Got Talent and was accepted after a preliminary audition in Glasgow. She sang “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables in the first round. When she first took to the stage, the initially cynical attitude of the audience and the judges was obvious….she was “prejudged”  because of her appearance. This cynicism was transformed into a standing ovation when she finished her rendition of “I Dreamed A Dream”. Her initial demeanour and homely appearance caused the judges and the audience to be “waiting for her to squawk like a duck”.

A new superstar was born and the world came to know about this Scottish lady Susan Boyle. Boyle’s first album “I Dreamed A Dream” was released on November 23 2009 and has enjoyed phenomenal success worldwide, racking up sales of a few million copies so far! Her album raced to the top of the charts in US, UK and many countries worldwide.

Boyle’s story is a like a fairy tale about overcoming adversity and prejudice and a rebuke to people’s tendency to judge others based on their physical appearance. Her performance is a victory for talent and artistry in a culture obsessed with physical attractiveness and presentation.

I bought Susan Boyle’s “I Dreamed A Dream” last week and have been enjoying her renditions of  “I Dreamed A Dream”, “Wild Horses”, “Cry Me A River”, “How Great Thou Art”, “You’ll See”, “Daydream Believer”, “Up To The Mountain”, “Amazing Grace”, “Who I Was Born To Be”, “Proud”, “The End Of The World” and “Silent Night”. You can find the album at Speedy Video in Miri……go buy it and enjoy the music!

I Dreamed A Dream by Susan Boyle

There are two basic types of yoga. One requires lots of discipline, patience and practice….and it  originates from India.

The other type of yoga does not require any discipline, patience and practice…and it originates from Ireland. Which type of yoga do you prefer?

Yoga...Irish style!

2010 is here!  A very very happy new year to everyone!

In this new year, may God grant you…..

12 months of happiness

52 weeks of fun

365 days of success

8,760 hours of good health

525,600 minutes of blessings

31,536,000 seconds of joy

The last day of 2009 will end in a few hours. It is time to say goodbye to 2009 and say hello to 2010.

Goodbye 2009

As I look back at the past one year, I honestly think 2009 has been a  good year for me. I feel blessed in many areas of my life and I am filled with a great sense of gratitude to all those who have touched my life.

My wife and my two sons have been a source of immense joy for me. My wife has given me full support in what I set out to do and has always been the pillar of my life. My son Clarence has been a source of my inspiration for what he has been able to achieve in his professional career. And my younger son Leslie completed his Bachelor of Commerce in June this year and is now attached to a reputable audit firm. I am really awed by his prudence in money matters. To both of my sons, I just wish to say that I am proud of you two.

This year has seen a few milestones in my life:

1. I started this blog on March 17 of this year so this blog is now almost 10 months old. I am glad that I have persisted in keeping this blog active and updated regularly. In a couple of months, this blog will be 1 year old….I look forward to that day!

2. In April this year, I attended the Global Internet Summit in Penang. That was a real eye-opener for me and I am so glad that I took the initiative to attend it.

3. On October 22 this year, eBay granted me the Top-Rated Seller status. That is a real milestone in my eBay business and I am indebted to all my eBay customers who make it possible.

4. Several of my investments in online investment programs paid off handsomely this year. I am glad that I did my due diligence on these programs and invested in them. Why leave all your money in bank earning a meagre 2-3% per annum when you can get almost ten times that return PER MONTH investing in reliable online programs?

5. I read a couple of books this year that have changed my mentality about money and life, notably “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” by Robin Sharma, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne and “How To Be Wildly Wealthy Fast” by Sandy Forster. I am learning to have a prosperity conscious mind and it has been an interesting journey.

2010 is just a few hours away.  I look forward to the new year with great anticipation and I am confident 2010 will be an even better year for me. And I wish you all success in whatever you do in the coming year. May you be blessed!

Chen Shui Bian, the former President of Taiwan, has fallen out of grace and is in jail.  Now they have come out with this designer bag ……………poor Ah Bian!

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city and attached the following message to his windshield: “I have circled this block 10 times. I have an appointment to keep. Forgive us our trespasses.”

When he returned to his car he found this reply attached to his own note along with a ticket: “I’ve circled this block 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket, I lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”

Thou shall not park

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently at the UN, and made the world community smile. A representative from Israel began:

“Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath!’ He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and   entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them.”

The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, “What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren’t there then.”

The Israeli representative smiled and said “And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.”

Moses striking rock