Life's So Beautiful

Archive for the ‘Laughter & Humour’ Category

When it comes to memorable goal celebrations, Roger Milla’s corner flag hip-shaking immediately comes to mind. But the effort from Icelandic side Stjarnan blows Roger’s feat out of the water. Taken hook, line and sinker – there’s no doubt that this is the best goal celebration we’ve ever seen.

During a match between Stjarnan and Fylkir in Iceland at the end of last month, the goal celebration after a game-winning kick ended up being better than the actual winning goal. After striker Halldor Orri Bjornsson scored on a penalty kick in extra time to take a 2-1 lead, he pulled out an imaginary fishing rod and casted his line out.  Then he proceeded to reel in a huge catch – defender Johann Laxdal. Displaying wonderful technique the ‘catch’ flapped his way across the turf and was hauled up by Bjornsson and a number of his team mates. The players then posed with their big catch for a photo take.

Millions have watched the YouTube video of the Icelandic “The Angler” goal celebration and the Stjarnan FC has achieved a newfound stardom. But the club now admits that they are now under pressure to make fans laugh.  They have to keep trying to stay fresh and brainstorm for more novel goal celebration routines. It was hard to do better than “The Angler” but since then the team has come up with “The Bicycle” and “The Birth”.  “The Angler” was the brainchild of Bjornsson who thought that one up when he was on a fishing trip with his father. Watch the video and be amused  at the Icelanders’ fishing routine.

The bar has now been set very high just before the start of the new season for professional footballers everywhere.  No longer will the one arm held aloft, or shirt over head routines suffice. Creativity is the name of the game now and it will be hard to beat this elaborate Icelandic fishy routine.

Kudos to the club for taking the art of goal celebration to a whole new level.

MU wins the Community Shield

Did you read the CNN news “United defeat Chelsea in season opener“? Oh my, I am really shocked…. CNN really goofed badly in the report! I reproduce below the first part of the CNN report:

Manchester United got their revenge on double winners Chelsea with a thrilling 3-1 victory in Sunday’s Community Shield, the traditional opener to the English Premier League season.

United only had the League Cup to show for their efforts last season and had to watch as Chelsea plundered the Premier League and FA Cup to secure the first ‘double’ in their history.

But Carlo Ancelotti’s side have had a series of poor results in pre-season and United were full value for their victory on a warm afternoon at Wembley.

United took the lead five minutes before half time when man-of-the-match Paul Scholes played a superb diagonal ball to Wayne Rooney on the right.

The England striker saw Antonio Valencia running into space in the center and he found his teammate with a perfect ball — the unmarked Colombian doing the rest by firing past goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar.

First of all, Antonio Valencia is not Colombian but Ecuadorian.  And if Antonio Valencia had fired past Edwin van der Sar, it would have been an own goal! The Chelsea goalkeeper is Henrique Hilario, NOT Edwin van der Sar. Edwin is the Manchester United goalkeeper. I still find it hard to believe CNN can goof up so badly!

I have printed a screen shot of the CNN report in case CNN discovered their errors and have made amendments to it.  Just click on the screen shot:

CNN Goofed

Oh my, what a joke!

Little babies and kids can be so adorable and funny. Their innocence can be so endearing that you can’t help breaking out in laughter. Even when they are angry, they can still bring a smile to your face.

I am in a foul mood so keep your distance, ok?

Grrrrrrrrr! Don't piss me off!

When life is getting you down and you feel disheartened, just watch the following videos. I love these kids!

Do you wanna fight? This baby is ready to take you on!

I say “Don’t touch me!”.

Ouch! Charlie bit me!

This is a baby version of ROFL!

Oh boy, blood!

Kids say the darnest things. C’mon, say truck!

Malaysia, truly Asia. This little phrase is Tourism Malaysia’s slogan. Over the past many years, we have all been bombarded with this slogan from Tourism Malaysia’s billboard, radio and TV ad to the point that some people are finding it annoying. And in the past two years or so, we have been bombarded by the 1Malaysia campaign. Malaysians are a funny lot. I propose another slogan for Malaysia. 1FunnyMalaysia, truly Lat Lah!

1Funny Malaysia

Malaysia's most popular cartoon character Lat

See how funny Malaysians can be!

Malaysian Starbucks

Who in the right mind would want to press the durians?

A Malaysian balancing act

A giant Malaysian bumblebee

The Malaysian government's drive to encourage reading is so successful that Malaysian dogs also know how to read!

Malaysian higher education?

The advantage of being a male in Malaysia!

Malaysian shopper

Another Malaysian shopper

Shopping Malaysian style

A rich Malaysian telling the whole world about his wealth

A no-signboard coffeeshop in Malaysia

A stool for males

Malaysian helmet

Two Wong Fei Hong visit Malaysia

Malaysia, truly Lat!

The Musang King durians (aka durian kunyit in Malay, Cat Mountain King in Mandarin and Mao Shan Won in Cantonese) hit the news in early July 2010 when Macau’s Casino King Stanley Ho sent his jet to Singapore to buy this cultivar of Malaysian durians. Durian kunyit is believed to have originated from Gua Musang in the Malaysian state of Kelantan. Its yellowish flesh resembles kunyit ( Malay word for turmeric).

Durian kunyit aka Musang King aka Cat Mountain King aka Mao Shan Won)

The thought of Mao Shan Won durians makes Stanley Ho light up with such a huge smile!

Apparently the tycoon is so enamoured by the taste of the durians that he sent his staff to Singapore with instructions to buy 98 Mao Shan Won durians. Why 98? Well, 98 in Mandarin and Cantonese sounds like “prosper for a long time”.

Due to low supply of the fruit resulting from adverse weather, Stanley Ho’s staff was only able to buy 88 Mao Shan Won durians. The 88 durians cost Stanley about RM4,800 but the cost of sending the jet to Singapore would cost many times that. I am sure there were more than 88 durians (but less than 98) at the 818 Durian Stall at Telok Kurau Road in Singapore but the staff purchased only 88 as 88 sounds like “prosper prosper” in Mandarin and Cantonese. 8 has always been a favourite number among the Chinese. And 88 signifies luck.  Did you notice that the durian stall has the name “818”?  You can see some commercial uses of the number 88 below.

The logo of nowTV Channel 669 -- Lucky 88

A Betting Game....Lucky 88

And Stanley Ho gave 10 of the durians to his friend Hong Kong billionaire Li Ka-Shing. Now you know why this two tycoons are so successful….eat more durians!

Li Ka-Shing was all smiles when Stanley Ho gave him the 10 durians.

For those unfamiliar with durians, the durian is commonly known as the “King of the Fruits”, a label that can be attributed to its formidable thorn-covered husk and overpowering odour. The edible flesh emits a very distinctive odour, strong and penetrating even when the husk is intact. Some people regard the durian as fragrant; others find the aroma overpowering and offensive. The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust. The odour has led to the fruit’s banishment from hotels, air flights, subways and other public transportation in Southeast Asia.

No durians sign at a hotel

Sign at a subway station in Singapore, the "Fine City"

Chef Andrew Zimmern compared durian taste to “completely rotten, mushy onions.” British novelist Anthony Burgess wrote that eating durian is “like eating sweet raspberry blancmange in the lavatory.” Anthony Bourdain, a lover of durian, had this to say about durians: “Its taste can only be described as…indescribable, something you will either love or despise. …Your breath will smell as if you’d been French-kissing your dead grandmother.”

I came across this blog article about an expat family trying out durians for the first time. It is a hilarious read so do go the the blog. The photo below is taken from the blog.

Durians stink....expat kids reacting to the smell of durians (photo taken from blog.expatexpert.com)

Southeast Asian folk beliefs, as well as traditional Chinese medicine, consider  durian to be “heaty” . The traditional method to counteract this is to drink water from the empty husk  of the fruit. An alternative method is to eat mangosteen after eating durians as mangosteens ( also known as the Queen of Fruits)  is considered to have cooling properties. But from personal experience, the best way to counter this is to drink a cup of salt water after taking durians. Pregnant women or people with high blood pressure are traditionally advised not to consume durian.

Another common local belief is that the durian is harmful when eaten with coffee or alcoholic beverages. The latter belief can be traced back at least to the 18th century when Rumphius stated that one should not drink alcohol after eating durians as it will cause indigestion and bad breath. In 1929, J. D. Gimlette wrote in his Malay Poisons and Charm Cures that the durian fruit must not be eaten with brandy.  There are people who believe that durian and alcohol consumed together can be fatal.  I would not want to be the one to verify whether that is true or not, haha!

Durians and alcohol.....a fatal combination?

Durian flowers fried with sambal belacan or curry powder makes a very appetising dish.  Some tamu (market) traders occasionally sell the flowers so if you should try it out. Honestly, it is nice!

Durian flowers...an appetisng dish!

The Javanese believe durian to have aphrodisiac qualities. A saying in Indonesian, durian jatuh sarung naik, meaning “the durians fall and the sarongs come up”, is attributed to this belief. Someone should conduct a research into whether more babies are conceived during durian season. Hey, you can do a thesis on that for your PhD.  I mean the real PhD and not Permanent Head Damage, ok?

Has this guy eaten too much durians?

Football fans in the Spanish city of Madrid are a lucky lot. Last summer, Real Madrid dished out more than $200 million to sign Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka

Now the city’s Madrid Zoo Aquarium has launched an audacious bid for Paul — the psychic octopus who correctly predicted Spain’s triumph at the FIFA World Cup 2010. The aquarium had offered to beat any offer already on the table in its quest to clinch Paul’s transfer from Germany’s Oberhausen Sea Life . The zoo’s spokesman said they were also ready to offer other animals in exchange for the octopus and said Paul would be accorded the “best care” befitting of a national hero.

Madrid Zoo Aquarium

Oberhausen Sea Life staff  announced Paul’s retirement from the predictions game earlier this week but said they were considering a host of offers from around the globe. Paul is on course to be the world’s first multi-millionaire octopus should the Oberhausen Sea Life choose to cash in on his global fame.

Paul’s 100 percent record is incredible but the minute he gets it wrong his credibility all disappears. Paul has thus ended his oracle days at exactly the right time.

Considering he is more consistent than all the top football stars like Cristiano Ronaldo, the winning bid should be quite a hefty sum. But taking into consideration that Paul may be around for only another six months to 2 years, Spain needs to expedite the transfer so that they can rake in millions from tourists and from advertisements and endorsements.

There is no limit to the ways in which Paul could be marketed. The gaming industry would be the logical use for Paul. Paul can be licensed for children’s toys, video games or cartoon shows. He can be an icon for a brand. A good use for him would be in adverts featuring two competing brands, such as Coke versus Pepsi or DHL versus FedEX. Which does Paul prefer?

I personally feel that it is most effective to use Paul in light-hearted commercials. Imagine Paul sitting on a tin of Coke in his aquarium and saying “This is the real Coke…nothing can beat it!”. Or picture Paul delivering a heavy FedEX package and saying “FedEX is the best….trust me!”.

And maybe launch a new tv reality show “Who Wants To Be An Octopus”.

Who Wants To Be An Octopus?

Octopus Paul has come out of retirement to do one more prediction for his Malaysian fans. Knowing how much Malaysians care about their politics, Oracle Paul has made his prediction on the outcome of Malaysia’s next general election! So here it is….Paul’s final prediction before he went back into retirement again.

Paul's Prediction For Malaysia's Next General Election

Octopus Paul is retiring from the oracle business and will not give any more oracle predictions. He will be getting back to do what he likes best: play with his handlers and making children laugh.

The psychic cephalopod became a global sensation and the star of FIFA World Cup 2010 by correctly predicting the result of every Germany game at the World Cup. He signed off with a perfect eight out of eight record by picking Spain to beat the Netherlands in the final.

Paul took one last curtain call on Monday when aquarium employees at the Oberhausen Sea Life presented the octopus with a golden cup – similar to the official World Cup trophy. Although the cup was garnished with three mussels, Paul ignored it for several minutes as it was lowered into his tank. He finally picked off one mussel and devoured it in front of television cameras.

Octopus with a world cup trophy

Never in sporting history has such a wacky thing happened. Octopus Paul now has a Facebook page and millions of fans and followers all over the world. FIFA World Cup 2010 will always be remembered as the Octopus Paul’s World Cup. Paul became a talisman for gamblers, with bookmakers William Hill claiming the octopus’s forecasts cost them £500,000 as punters flocked to follow his advice. Bookmakers, marketing experts and brokers around the world have offered large sums of money for the octopus.

For those who have been hoping that Octopus Paul will still be around to liven up FIFA WORLD CUP 2014 to be held in Brazil, you are in for a sad surprise. Even if Paul does not retire from his oracle business, he will be long gone by the time the next world cup comes around.

Brazil FIFA World Cup 2014 Logo

Octopuses have a relatively short life expectancy, and some species live for as little as six months. Most species may live for three to five years. Reproduction is a cause of death: males can only live for a few months after mating, and females die shortly after their eggs hatch. They neglect to eat during the (roughly) one month period spent taking care of their unhatched eggs, but they don’t die of starvation. Endocrine secretions from the two optic glands are the cause of genetically programmed death (and if these glands are surgically removed, the octopus may live many months beyond reproduction, until she finally starves).

Once the octopus reaches adulthood, it will eventually get the urge to mate. As with most creatures, the octopus’s main purpose in life is to reproduce. If it knew just what was waiting for it soon after, it might think twice about mating. Both the male and female octopuses die soon after mating. The male dies a few months afterwards, while female dies shortly after the eggs hatch. If this is what happens to human beings too, I can’t imagine how life would be like, haha!

Octopus mating game

A male octopus's hectocotylus, or mating arm (with pink lining), is inserted into the female's mantle.

Paul is about two and a half years old now so it is a certainty that he will not live to see the next world cup. But if Paul (poor Paul, lol!) does not have the chance to mate in the aquarium, will he live to see the next world cup?  I don’t have the answer to that…you will have to ask marine biologists.

The worldwide frenzy over Octopus Paul may spawn a rash of octopus products such as toys, jewelry, fashions and movies.  Hmmmm…maybe we will  be seeing movies like “Octopus Story”, “The Octopus Strikes Back”, “Lord of the Octopus”, “Octopus Man” and “Octopus of the Carribean” hitting the cinemas soon.

Octopus fashion

Octopus kiddy fashion

Octopus hat

Octopus brooch

Octopus toy

Octopus bag

But one thing is certain. The Oberhausen Sea Life Aquarium in Germany will definitely be seeing huge throngs of visitors queuing up to see Paul in the coming months. Paul, may you enjoy your retirement and may you bask in your World Cup glory!

FIFA World Cup 2010 is finally over and Octopus Paul has really stolen the limelight from all the soccer stars. Despite being dismissed as pure fluke, Paul has defied all odds and achieved a 100% correct track record in his World Cup predictions. For the grand final, a lot of cynics worldwide bet their money against Paul and threw their support behind Netherlands based on their perceived superiority of Netherlands over Spain.

And Paul is having the last laugh now. Spain, Paul’s choice to win the world cup, beat Netherlands 1-0 through an extra time goal by Andres Iniesta in the 116th minute to win their first world cup title.What a heart-stopping game it has been! The photo below is taken from ESPN Soccernet.

Andres Iniesta celebrates his winning goal!

Those who have faithfully followed Paul’s predictions when they placed their bets are now grinning from ear to ear. What a bonanza world cup this has been for them!

Fans who had placed bets based on Paul's predictions are grinning like this dog now!

It is truly amazing that an octopus can pull off such a feat. I know it is probably just coincidence but the coincidence borders on eeriness. I would not be surprised at all if Paul is featured in a show like “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not” in the near future. And Paul has put to rest the widely-held notion that a single person is too insignificant to make an impact in this world. An octopus can make such an impact in this world so humans should not seek refuge behind the excuse that they are too small to make an impact in this world.

Paul, thank you for livening up this World Cup and hope you will still be here to keep us entertained when the Brazil 2014 FIFA World Cup comes around. A backlash against you by incensed soccer fans will see many of your cousins ending up on dining tables as charred octopus, octopus ravioli, grilled octopus, octopus calamari and the like. But we are consoled by the knowledge that you will be well-protected at the Oberhausen Sea Life Aquarium. In case you really feel the need to migrate, Spain will welcome you with wide open arms.

Octopus ravioli

Octopus salad

Octopus in cooking pan

Grilled octopus

This world cup will also be remembered for the vuvuzelas.  The popularity of the vuvuzelas resulted in brisk sales worldwide and many far-sighted sellers on Ebay saw sales of vuvuzelas shoot through the roof. I personally bought one yellow vuvuzela from an Ebay seller based in Hong Kong a couple of days ago but I will probably have to wait another week or longer before I can receive it. I am really curious as to how loud the horn can be. And it will be a great souvenir to remind me of this world cup in years to come.

A vuvuzela

There has been a lot of curiousity as to the origins of the vuvuzelas.  And someone sent me this email about the possible origins of this noisy horn.

Origin of the vuvuzela?

But I cannot see how the “vuvuzela” in this photo can be blown unless the man’s “little brother”  has some special power. To verify that, you would need to fly to Papua New Guinea.

It’s already 5.10am here in Malaysia. I have not slept any wink for the whole night but it has been worth it. I will catch up on my sleep in a few hours’ time. Have a great week!

Octopus Paul proved yet again why he has been accorded the title of Oracle Paul when his choice for the Germany-Uruguay match lived up to his prediction. Germany beat Uruguay 3-2 after coming from behind in a pulsating match in Port Elizabeth to secure third place for the second successive World Cup.

Germany’s midfielder Sami Khedira headed in the winning goal in the game that saw both Thomas Muller and Diego Forlan move onto five goals for the tournament.

Sami Khedira's Winning Header Goal (photo taken from ESPN Soccernet)

With his prediction materialising yet again, Paul has thus continued to maintain a 100% correct record in his predictions for this World Cup. It could be pure fluke but there is no doubt that Paul has undeniably become the star of this world cup tournament. The most intriguing question now is whether Paul will again be right in his prediction for the Spain-Holland final. Will Spain really lift the FIFA World Cup 2010 championship trophy as predicted by Paul?  The whole world waits with bated breath!